Letting Go

We have had a kitten living, mostly, in our enclosed porch since January 16. She was a kitten our son brought home from a farm my husband helps out at on the weekends. When she suddenly got sick  we took her to the veterinarian, who advised us to keep her separated from all of our other animals for about a week. 

Being that we have other barn cats outside, and dogs as well as cats inside the only option we had really was the enclosed porch. The next day “Kitter” seemed to have a miraculous recovery. I still had my doubts and we kept her separate and the kids away from her. After a few days however, she quickly learned that the inside door led to us. She would dart in and under the hutch we have near the door so that we couldn’t put her immediately back out. 
Soon we started letting her in the kitchen a few times a day to play. Then my husband would let me have her in the living room to play while we ate dinner when he got home. It wasn’t long and we had a routine and she was quick to come in when it was her allowed times, but would also willing go back to her bed on the porch when it was time.

Neither my husband nor I wanted to put her back outside. We however decided long ago no more cats. We love cats, it’s just the litter drives me nuts. I don’t even mind cleaning the litter boxes, it’s just that no matter what you put under them there seem to be stray pieces that find there way all over. Kitter had me ready to change my mind however. You couldn’t ask for a better cat. She got along with our dogs, our kids and our two old man cats. She had the classic kitten playfulness and curiosity, but she was also a lover, and a lap kitten during her rest times.

It seemed like we asked everyone we knew if they might be interest in her. Unfortunately everyone we knew either had cats, rented or really didn’t want a pet. I began to think as I watched my husband and seemed to grow to love her then even half prayed a selfish prayer, that maybe she would soften my husband up enough to convince him to let me keep her inside permanently if we didn’t find her a home. 
Sunday evening my in laws, brother in law, and his children came over for dinner and to play phase ten. The kids let Kitter come in to play while we played. My husband asked his brother in front of kids if maybe he might want her. Both of his kids did, but seemed reluctant as the chores associated with a kitten were listed. Soon my brother in law picked her up and was playing with her. He even made a few comments about how she would need declawed and such if they took her. 

Our fun and games ended abruptly when I had an asthmatic fit. Everyone packed up and went home while my husband helped me get a breathing treatment and cleaned up the kitchen. We both had hoped and thought maybe if the evening had lasted a little longer that Kitter might have found a new home.

Yesterday morning my husband handed me his phone to take a call. That’s a little odd but soon I was deep in conversation with his brother discussing Kitter. My brother in law had called to see if we were serious about giving her away. We talked about food, and what shots she would need and her habits. He let me know he would come later that night to pick her up.

I honestly was sad. I truly never imagined we would find Kitter a new home, selfishly I had half hoped we wouldn’t. I agreed to let her go because I knew it was best for her. If she stayed Eventually we would have had to put her back outside. Barn cats often get eaten by wild animals, stepped on by cows, run over by cars. Letting Kitter go meant she would be warm, safe, and loved as the family’s only pet. 

Our children were sad when I told them as soon they came home from school that she would be leaving soon. Our son cried; our daughter was distraught but held it together as we discussed all the good reasons to let our Kitter go. I was proud of my son, when it was time he handed her right over without fits or crying and we said our goodbyes. After she was gone my son proceeded to tell me about how now he knew what it was like to be me and daddy, having to let our children grow up and go. If I hadn’t been sad I would have struggled not to laugh- yes the thought can be difficult, but I don’t even know what the really feels like yet!

As humans we seem to have a natural tendency to cleave to things, even when it’s not necessarily healthy or best for all involved. Even as infants we cling to our pacifiers and blankets and favorite toys. Some  cling to any physical reminder of lost loved one they can find. I refused to quit smoking till I almost died. Almost nightly I hear a heroine overdose call on our police scanner. 
In this situation I was able to pull myself back as a mostly mature adult and see clearly to keep this kitten would be an act of selfishness and a disservice to her. It had made me ponder my life, and where I am at. Am I hanging on to things I should be letting go? Maybe there are dreams and some days I need to let go of in order to embrace the goodness in today and tomorrow. I can’t say that I’m thrilled with my job, I did however like what I do. I had the opportunity to make a good friend in Christ. I’ve been presented with opportunities to help and minister to others, I’ve even seen a few come to Christ because God put me in this post. It is saddening however, as my medical recovery seems to be going to slow to ever allow me to return. If I tied today I would likely end up hospitalized and have to restart the recover process.

Then there’s memories and thoughts. Am I hanging on to unhealthy memories and thoughts. Most days I would say I’m doing ok in this department. Other days the enemy creeps in and I am filled with ungodly doubt. Some days I have to tell myself I’ve already forgiven or been forgiven more than once. My husbands likes a song by Conway Twitty called Thats my job. Every time I hear it I’m overcome wth emotions over my dad being gone. He had been gone 11 years this October! This probably is fairly normal but if I were to dwell on missing my dad that would certainly be unhealthy. 

I like to say you have to let go of the past to embrace the future. Human nature and the devil can make this difficult at times. 

“You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to human traditions.” Mark 7:08 NIV

When we cleave to things that are unhealthy, or that the time has come to let them pass we are failing to follow Gods path for us. My time may have expired at my current employment. If choose to stay while it is not Gods will I will certainly be the one missing out. Maybe there is someone I need to reach at the next place. Maybe the opportunity for a blessing will be through the next door. 
“Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Mark 10:21 NIV 

Now I am not saying we all need to go out and sell everything we have to become traveling ministers. I do however think we need to let go. 
Today I am praying that you will allow the Lord to search your heart and reveal to you what it is you need to let go. Maybe it’s a friend that is a bad influence, poor dietary habits or an addiction. Maybe it’s hatred for someone who did wrong to you. Maybe it’s a dream that’s well expired but if you followed Christ you would find the rewards well exceed your dream. Maybe it’s a loved one that you haven’t grieved, or a sinful thought or action. We are to love God above all, and when we cleave to these things we most certainly are not. 


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