I’m sure by now you probably realize I am very different from my husband. The way we show and receive love is different but that is hardly the only thing that is different about us. From our appearances to our likes and dislikes we could probably be described by most as being opposite.
I am barely 5’3″, he is 5’10. My hair is naturally a dirty dark blond he has dark brown hair. We do both have green eyes but his are speckled with brown sugar and honey while mine are just green. I’m emotional, I want to share my feelings- some days he’s so quiet with his I wonder if he has any.
My husband is good with money, I am good at spending it. He remembers the dates his bills are due, and I need to schedule reminders and still will forget. He’s naturally lean, if I look at a cookie I gain a pound. He wakes up early and goes to bed shortly after the children, I prefer to stay up late and sleep till mid morning.
I am creative and crafty, I like to dabble and things do it yourself. He likes to work. I read and write and play games on my phone. He watches television shows. I believe in the covenant of marriage, that it is the greatest commitment you can make. My husband believes this is a worthless piece of paper that is just the first step towards divorce. I go out of my way to try to look nice for my husband. My husband doesn’t care if I like the way he looks or not.
Even our worship and church preferences are different. I prefer open worship with contemporary Christian music. Hand and arm raising and praising god is where I want to be. My husband however is old school in a sense. He prefers traditional hymns. Anything that resembles worship makes him uncomfortable. The churches he attends say certain things in response to things the pastor says at certain times. I ask why and he says just do it. I say I don’t understand. He says just do it. Seems pretty pointless to me especially if you don’t know why you do it. Apparently it doesn’t matter if you understand what is going on as long you do it. He believes you need to be baptized to be saved, I believe the blood of Jesus saves you and that baptism is something we do to show others we believe this.
Some days it is hard to see how we ever came together long enough to make one child let alone two. You can pick any aspect of life and we can find a way that we are different if not completely opposite. What’s amazing about this is that for every short coming I have, my husband has a strength to make up for it.
The problem with all these differences between us, is that most of our relationship we fought over them. Instead of celebrating and embracing the fact that when we work together we make two halves of a whole, we tended to focus on how what the other person lacked bothered us. The Bible cautions us to be careful about this, but like many married couples we had no idea how easily our house could be divided and fall apart. We not only found faults with each but we allowed others to do it as well.
“If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” Mark 3:25 NIV
It is important to remember that protecting your marriage needs to be a priority. While we can friends in Christ that may be able to understand and counsel us during our tough times, we need to remember that they do not come first, and that complaint to the wrong person opens that door for the devil to enter your home. When you put your spouse down in front of your friends and family you open the door wide for the enemy to step in and lure your heart away from your marriage and God. The enemy is always quick to take your side and say they would never do that to you or act that way.
We often forget that in Gods perfect planning he made each of us different on purpose. We each have strengths and weakness. Much like a person who looses their sight or hearing when we are apart it is much harder to function well, but when we work together we work well. Instead of focusing on how bad it is that we are different, we need to embrace the fact that neither of us are perfect, but that together we are a whole team better equipped to face the challenges and trials that are coming our way.
“But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.”
1 Corinthians 12:18 NIV
Today my prayer for you is that you take a moment to focus on your partners strengths. In what areas are they good at things that you are not? Instead of being angry they never put their dishes in the dish washer, thank them for something they do well that you do not. Remember iron sharpens iron, while we may have some friction and sharpening along the way together we make each other better.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Proverbs 27:17 NIV